its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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