she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize