are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
