I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
