how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
