How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My feet surprised me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
