how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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