i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When are your genitals available?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize