I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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