I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
