Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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