I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
