it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
