marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
