does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
