I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
