it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
