so explain again why im purple
no
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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