He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
