Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nicole vs. Life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
