The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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