): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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