oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
