so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
