Its about making memories worth repressing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize