So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can I color on your dick again?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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