dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
