She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
