eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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