Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
