Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
