Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
