Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
