I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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