he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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