if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
