I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize