It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
