Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
