its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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