her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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