hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
