So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
