We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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