I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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