I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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