Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
