dude i'm inner monologue high
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
