names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize