At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Acid is not a monday night drug
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
