well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
pop tarts are not kleenex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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