haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize