Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
