why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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