TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
