It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
