my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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