u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
