I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize