I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
